Symphonic Poems

Again

2011-07-23T22:23:00.000+05:30

I wish to write again Lord not out of habit but out of love, out of obedience to the whisper i heard to "Start writing again" i have to choose to obey. I write for You. love ya, sm_eagle.

After a Sabbatical...

2010-01-16T13:35:00.004+05:30

To write after a sabbatical is it easy or tough??? well for me it surely is challenging. My writing cells of my brain has been rusted. But I wish to begin again. So here I go by putting my first post in 2010 with few details on song writing, singing and recording.

Thanks to Gangai, one of my good friend who has worked towards bringing out a CD "Vapour Water & Ice" You can visit www.ikerygma.com and hear the songs online for free. You are also welcome to buy a CD too hehehe :-) . Recorded one of my favourite written and composed song in it- O COME. Recorded another song - PRAISE THE LORD, written and composed by Gangai. You are free to leave your feedback here or on website itself.

Waiting for new lines, new thoughts, inspirations and grace to pen it down for no one but for me.

love ya,

SM_eagle

Awaken my soul...

2008-10-18T11:00:00.004+05:30

5th February 2008

Wish I remember why I wrote this... all that doesn't matter the only thing that matters is realising that "apart from HIM I can do nothing..." i dislike the state when i know what's wrong on my part but struggle to correct myself and keep up in STEPS with JESUS... well i don;t know if i'm making any sense to anyone, i just cry out and pray that HE RESTORES MY SOUL...

AWAKEN MY SOUL

Brokenness in my soul,
shedding tears unceasingly
searching for peace within
but found none.
In this darkness I desire to see
Not by sight but by faith
Uphold me when my boat rocks
Spirit trembles and my hand drops

Lord, where did I go wrong?
That I am picking up rotten fruits
Did I not do my part well?
My eyes are parched
And I miss YOU right now
At this very hour
Give me solace ...
to rise above the wind of problems
Grant me grace...
that awakens my soul

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love ya,

sm_eagle

Holy Spirit Flow...

2008-07-07T23:33:00.002+05:30

Just found this one among the yellowing pages of my diary. It had music, which I cant recollect. Please give it some fresh music.

Holy Spirit flow into me

Flow into my life
Flow into my soul
Flow into my being
And make me whole

Flow into my body
My diseases cure
Flow into my senses
And make me pure

Holy Spirit flow into me

All consuming fire
Create me anew
Pour anointing oil
Cleanse me through

Fall on me like rain
Wash away my sin
Come down Holy Spirit
To reign within.

No Bed Of Roses

2008-06-13T11:03:00.002+05:30

This one is the oldest. But sometimes you have to start from scratch. You have to take your baby steps all over again when you've forgotten how to run.
So here's my first song.

Chorus:
No bed of roses I ask You Lord
Nor easy roads to tread
Just give me strength and fortitude
To carry my cross ahead

Give me the will to do each day
All you wish of me
Give me the trust to know You're there
No matter where I be

(Chorus)

Give me the hope to look beyond
Dark clouds of doubt and fear
In times of trials and lack of faith
O Lord be ever near

(Chorus)

When light seems dim and courage and fails
And everyone turns away
When i feel I cant go on
O teach me Lord to pray

(Chorus)

When persecuted and insulted
There's none to hear my plea
Teach me to remember O Lord
The price You paid for me

(Chorus)

When my days are over
And death shall pursue
Then call me to Your home above
And keep me close to You.

Transform me in YOU

2008-05-07T20:25:00.005+05:30

"Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He may prolong my life, He may shorten it, He knows what He is about. He may make my spirits sink, hide the future from me, still He knows what He is about." -- John Henry Cardinal Newman

"Let us meditate today on the condition of our soul. Are we making a sincere effort to rectify our intentions, to sanctify our daily responsibilities? There are things we fail to remember, not because we have short memories but because we are short of love. The person in love does not forget!"-- St Teresa of Avila

7th May, 2008

7:00 p.m.

TRANSFORM ME IN YOU (2008)
Unseen events of life
raising questions in my mind
Untold fears crawling through the night
past hurts making it difficult to let go

Heart rushes in search of love
yearning for a touch
longing for comfort
someone to wipe my tears
but left with no one by my side

unending dark hours of agony
sight of faith weakening
Light, Joy, peace & love
are my requirements

Come take me where I've never been
Help me holding up
my broken being as a beacon
not for me but for someone
who walks by same broken road

Let me be,
Your hand to lift them up
Your arms to embrace
Your palms to hold their tears
a symbol of your love

Understanding there's price to pay
give me the grace
in raising my life as a sacrifice
Knowing for me You did
on that day at the Calvary
So help me be like you
Offering my broken life and body
a broken heart and soul
In glory and honour of You alone
Use me as You desire
transform me in YOU

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love ya,
SM_eagle

Ongoing battle

2008-04-28T22:00:00.009+05:30

There's sadness in my heart,
I'm trying to figure it out...
Why I don't stand the ground,
I give up when I shouldn't...

My heart seem to get adamant
despite recieving the Touch
of HIS tender love.
Why do I act stubborn,
always wanna do as I WILL.
Like sheep walking on its own way
I act as my will says.

What a war it is!
between YOUR will and mine.
With every battle
I discover
Your Will is perfect
MY will is incomplete.
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This ongoing battle is part of every Christians' life, battle between HIS HOLY WILL and My Will. I am amazed at the freedom that Christ has given me, HE knows that I, a feeble human, can never make right choices, decisions unless its under HIS guidance but still HE CHOOSES to give me my Free Will...He loves me so much that HE wants me to discover HIS unconditional love and cherish it forever.

Being a student of Political Science, I have always asked the Lord, "Why not just DICTATE YOUR WILL because I know I am just not good at walking on the way You have shown. I always deviate from The Way, so why not follow dictatorship form of government in my life."

I sense somewhere in my small brain where HE lets me know in HIS own way, WHY NO DICTATORSHIP but DEMOCRACY...of HIS love :-) He loves me so much that HE wants me to discover, taste and experience HIS love and out of free will, surrender my throne and let HIM be the KING... "So if the SON makes you free, you will be free indeed." (John8:36) Once I have tasted HIS love I become love slave not out of compulsion but free will knowing well that the Master's Will for me is , its for my greater good even when circumstances portray just the opposite.

Walking in love with Jesus is not easy, it's challenging. It challenges standards that I have set based on so called 'my learnings, my experiences', I'm always reminded of Whom I have chosen to follow- JESUS and HIS standards. We can look into our hearts and find our standards similar to those of Scribes and Pharisees but here is JESUS who has set us Standards of love.

John 4:34 "Jesus said to them, 'My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to complete His work.' "

Matthew 16: 24 "Then Jesus told His disciples, 'If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their Cross and follow me."

Matthew 26:44 "So leaving them again, He went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words (My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; Yet not what I want but what You want.)."

Luke 23:34 "Then Jesus, 'Father forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.' "

Luke 23:42 "He replied (to the good thief) 'Truly I tell You, today you will be with me in Paradise.' "

At the end of all this all I am left with is: If I love JESUS, I will keep HIS commandments.

"You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servants does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made know to you everything that I have heard from MY FATHER."

John 15:14-15

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love ya,

sm_eagle

Narrow Lane

2008-03-30T20:49:00.002+05:30

Nothing specific I had in mind when I started scribbling these lines... was just looking within myself and these thoughts came forth. I am a person, who wants everything PERFECT-my life, my decisions, choices that I make, to such an extent that I want my Walk with the SAVIOUR perfect (what a foolish thought) all and all- dictionary calls it playing "PERFECTIONIST". Demanding perfection not just from others but from one own self, which ends up in frustration... What foolish mind i have to expect 'Everything to be Perfect, everything to go as-I DECIDE, as I WANT, as I DESIRE.

While i continue my journey on this Narrow Road that I have decided to walk on, I am learning to be patient with 'ME' and believe me it has been a roller coaster ride. To see myself as GOD sees is something very beautiful, less torturing....:-), more loving and learning to accept myself in my own eyes has been liberating. I know Narrow path is not easy to tread on but thats the ONLY way to the Father and i'll enter Heaven ONLY BY HIS GRACE and not on my own efforts or merits...why? so that all the glory goes to HIM and HIM alone and to NO ONE ELSE. Some of the lines are taken from Proverbs, which i have been reading these days. God's Word, for sure, is a double edged sword, which pierces through my heart and judges my thoughts, my standard of living and shows me the areas that needs moulding. So as you read through, I pray that you find God's eyes to see yourself in aspect of your life. Hope all this makes sense to you and if it's not, it is still ok :-) am sure you will understand it at the right time.

This one doesn't sound like as any would be song types so it'll remain in my journal entry, i guess so:-)

5th June 2007
11:50 a.m.
NARROW LANE (2007)
Dear Lord,
In my life right now...
its difficult to see the next step,
I am struggling to follow Your path.
I have been faltering;
fallen with my face on the ground,
I get up and see dust all over my face,
it feels so disgraced.
Knowing that all this while,
I was right, if not in 'their' eyes
but in thine.
It feels like a slap,
feels like people pulling me up
just to pass a sarcastic remark.

I wish to walk smoothly on this narrow road,
without any bruises or blemish.
How I want to take easy way out,
not just once but always!
Had 'planned it all'--- so that it'll be perfect,
dislike mistakes & shame,
no tears I want to shed.

But... Here I stand at this juncture;
only to understand,
I need to learn to trust.
Trust YOUR whipserings,
YOUR guidance,
not my own intuitions
or discernment.
Let me not lean on my intelligence,
but acknowledge YOUR presence...
in all things.

Though situations may not change,
people still remain,
but having YOU in everything,
will be my strength.
I can lean on YOU,
whenever I fall
or face any trail.
I am learning to trust YOU more,
for in YOU I set my absolute confidence.
Help me to walk on the just path,
grace to pursue on this narrow lane.

As I surrender myself,
before YOUR Holy Throne;
I join my hands in adoration,
I hear YOU calling me,
to follow whole heartedly.
So, Here I am...
making my ear attentive to wisdom;
inclining my heart to YOUR understanding.

Humble me Lord,
have YOUR way.
though I know,
it'll bring corrections, falls
and dust on my face.
As long as I am under YOUR grace,
nothing else matters
for its YOU who cares.
Don't mind all the failures,
all painful truths,
as long as YOU hold me and move...
lead me to the goal,
and that's YOU and YOU alone.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Comfort Me

2008-03-22T14:25:00.004+05:30

Comfort me, make me still
With your fragrant presence
Comfort me, make me still
When I am weary
Comfort me, amke me still
when I fall and am lonely
Comfort me, make me still
My JESUS

With YOU around me
I have nothing to fear
With YOU by my side
I am found complete
before the father

I have a calling
To follow you
Heart, mind and soul
It belongs to you alone

No other GOD reigns
Over my soul anymore
Coz I have given it all
To you..
You are in control

As I surrender
Before Your holy throne
As I join my hands
In adoration
I hear you calling me
To follow whole heartedly
I lay it all
Things that I call my own
I lay it before the throne

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love ya,

SM_eagle

Satisfy my hunger, Lord

2008-03-22T14:25:00.001+05:30

Some scribbling... Quench my Thirst for THEE o Lord... there has been an insatiable hunger and thirst for Lord's Presence, there's more in my walk with the Lord that i am looking for...more of HIM, more of HIS presence, more of HIS Grace, more of HIS voice... I just can't, just can't get enough of JESUS... Satisfy my hunger LORD...

20th April 2007
WHERE ?

During the night
I search through the words
in hope that I'll find THEE
but don't...
Where art THOU, My GOD?

Is it that YOU have left me
or have I lost YOU, my Precious Pearl
in the crowds of many
What will I do without YOU, my Jewel
YOU are my Gem, my treasure
My everything

Break me Lord...my pride
I try my best to see YOU
through my tear filled eyes.
My vision seems so vague
For YOU are missing from my life
thats what i feel...
right now.

Let me find YOU
for I seek You earnestly
I know, YOU will let me find YOU.
I believed and I believe even today,
YOU want me to seek YOU
more deeply

I hold on for I believe
I will find THEE
My Lord, my Love
for YOU cannot deny
THY love for me.

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love ya,

SM_eagle

Life...

2008-02-19T15:04:00.003+05:30

This I wrote pondering about the state of health of one of my aunt, she has been in critical condition for over a month now... Her both kidneys failed some one and half or two years back and husband expired last year in August,2007. She came to Delhi for kidney transplant but was diagnosed with a lump in the intestine, so doctors operated but since then life for her and all the family members have not been the same.

Praying for GOD'S WILL is not at all an easy prayer for it also means having the heart to say 'Yes' to what actually GOD'S WILL is for us... Jesus came to the earth to set us free but it was not easy...Garden of Gethsemane was part of HIS journey and only after the Crucifixion, Death there came the Ressrrection, only after the GOOD FRIDAY came EASTER... Our eyes sees the physical life but Lord, Open our eyes to see the bigger picture of ETERNITY.

18th February 2008
11:30p.m.

In the quietness of the night
Life seem to be on hold
Looking at the stars
wishing for more.
Clueless of the fact
That life keeps going on
Be it peace or at the time of war

Still gazing at the night sky for a Miracle
Believeing that YOU do hear my heart’s cry
But circumstances tells me
Terminate this wishful thinking.

Need more faith Lord or all is vain
Don’t wanna question any of Your Plans
But human as I am
Feeble and weak
End up seeing only what's not permanent

Enlarge my view to see the bigger picture,
of life not on earth
but Life in eternity with YOU.

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love ya,

Sm_eagle

My Best Friend

2008-02-03T22:58:00.000+05:30

Ever since i've come to know about Him, i've been a big, big fan of the Holy Spirit.....but never had I really, really experienced Him and felt Him like I did in this charisms retreat that I attended.....actually, I was the only one from among all my friends who was attending this retreat(all of them had attended an english retreat the previous week to which I could not go)......so I was like pretty much on my own there.....and hence I had no option but to keep to myself.....but thanks to this retreat i understood why it is so important to maintain silence, to quiten ourselves, to calm ousrelves down when attending retreats.....coz the Lord speaks...and how!!! It was like amazing....the Lord spoke so much to me through the Holy Spirit during these 3 days.....n i came to know the Holy Spirit as a very, very close friend....n i'm just so glad!!! n ya....i'm thankful for the fact that i had to attend this retreat....!!! n ya....1 more thing...the scripture in Psalms..."Be still and know that I am the Lord"....its really very true....so here's my 1st one to the Holy Spirit-my best friend!!!

January 27, 2008
8:00 A.M.

My Best Friend (2008)

There's a fire burning within me
A fresh fire from the Spirit
I wonder why it took so long
But now it yearns to spread

O Spirit, Holy Spirit
Its amazing when You speak
You've come, and You've touched
With an oh-so-soothing touch
And I know that, I believe that
You will never let me go

Keep this fire burning, O Spirit
Let it never die out
Let this fire enable me
To keep living for my Lord

O Spirit, Holy Spirit
You are my best friend.

..........................................................................................
His Child

To Thee I Belong

2008-02-03T22:36:00.000+05:30

ok....so this one again came during the same charisms retreat.....just my acknowledgement of the fact that I belong to my Lord.....completely, truly, wholly.....n my prayer is that the Lord may use me according to His plans and His will....for the glory of His Kingdom....I belong to You Jesus!!!

January 26, 2008
9:45 P.M.

To Thee I Belong (2008)

Like the birds to the sky
And the fishes to the oceans
Like the flowers to a garden
To Thee do I belong

I belong, I belong
To Thee do I belong
Use me as an instrument
Coz to Thee do I belong

O Master of the stars
And the sun that shines so bright
O Master of us all
To Thee do I belong

Hold me, mould me, lead me, guide me
Coz every inch of me
It belongs to Thee

......................................................................................
His Child

Romans 8:28

2008-01-27T18:30:00.003+05:30

This one I wrote on 26th December 2007, I said YES to Kevin, on 24th December 2007 and it was a long process of prayer, discussion and thinking with my family, elders and yes very important with the LORD :-). Life will be changing in many ways but this is what people call a leap of faith... I had prayed, "GOD'S WILL, NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS and NOTHING ELSE." for my lifepartner and I am glad that i waited and waited for the best to come my way, Best that My FAther in Heaven had in HIS mind. In my conversations with Kevin I am discovering the way we are called by God and HE has a purpose for two of us. So here goes my thoughts in relation to my committment to my soulmate. Well this one is without a doubt dedicated to Kevin. I call this one 'Till Death Do Us Part'

TILL DEATH DO US PART (2007)

I see US together not based on emotions but sheer faith
knowing it's YOU who has called us to The Altar
wanting us to willingly love each other
till death do us part.
Though it's been challenging
but I know YOU will see us through
lead us through the path
that YOU have called us to walk.

Jesus, I am choosing to fall in love...do the needful
Jesus, I wish to remain in love... Look into my heart
Jesus, I willingly say, 'I DO'
to everything that's coming forth
Give me the strength and grace...to pass through.

Lord help us to take one day at a time
Letting him be he and me being me
give us the grace that we are in need
lead us through till death do us part.

It's no longer yours or mine dear
but OURS...as WE stand together
before The Altar, before our Loved ones
all We know is
YOU WILL KEEP US TOGETHER
YOU WILL SEE US THROUGH. Amen

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SM_eagle

I Give My All

2008-01-27T18:30:00.002+05:30

it has been a long time since i wrote anything.....n i wasn't exactly expecting this to come.....but neways.....i was attending this retreat.....a charisms retreat.....n i was looking for a particular verse in the Psalms.....while flipping thru the pages when i reached Psalm94, this verse.....Psalm 94:11.....it just struck me.....n i kinda got stuck there for a while.....the verse was, "The Lord knows our thoughts, that they are but an empty breath.".....n i thought.....how true is that.....on giving it more thought.....i realised it isn't just my thoughts.....but my heart, my mind n my soul too.....n here is what came out.....i realised that even in all my brokenness, the least i could do was offer everything to my Lord.....

January 25, 2008

6:15 P.M.

I Give My All (2008)

Lord You know my thoughts
They are an empty breath
Lord You know my heart
It is nothing but a wreck
Even in my soul
It is brokenness which reigns
But I proclaim You LORD
As the king of my all

I offer up my thoughts and heart and mind
I offer up the whole of my being
I ask You LORD to enter my life
And make it a living sacrifice.

......................................................................................................
His Child

Like the...

2007-09-25T21:17:00.000+05:30

27th May 2007

Like the stars in heaven,
Wish I can remember Thee.
With a grateful heart,
Return my thanks to Thee.

Like a breeze on my face,
Let Thy spirit move,touch me gently.
In my inner being,
Let me be one with Thee.

Like the soil of the earth,
Humbly, I touch thy feet.
Like the trees of the field,
Let me stand firm, in THY Holy Will.
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Love ya
SM_eagle

More of HIM

2007-06-06T11:20:00.000+05:30

This was a diary entry, on which JJ- arrey akka Josun Jose brother helped me. He has been motivating me to work, rework and rework. I like it now, it's much better than the first draft. Thank You JJ bro...Thou shall be my editor :-) what say? Ready to sign a contract with me hehehe. So this one is for JJ. You have been a Blessing to me.

10th March 2002

MORE OF HIM (2002)
Seeking Thee is my desire

To walk on thy path i yearn
in humility, gentleness and sincerity
I desire thee

Sweet Spirit of Love,
mould me, transform me from within
humbly, earnestly, gently
i come

I desire more of HIM
every single moment
every passing second
I desire him more and more.
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Love ya,
SM_eagle

You Are My Answer

2007-05-22T10:43:00.000+05:30

why does it have to happen this way???....couldn't He have averted this if He chose to???....why do His ways have to be so different from our ways???....why can't He be more compassionate towards the people who had loved Him so much???.......just a few of the plethora of questions which have been pestering me ever since my mom left for her eternal abode on 30th April,2007 after 2 years of bitter suffering(she was a cancer patient)....she was a lady who taught not just me, but so many others, about having faith in Him...about loving Him unceasingly....about trusting Him no matter how hopeless the situation seemed to be.....and somehow i just can't seem to fathom why she had to endure so much suffering, why she was taken away...???

Though i know that we are no one to question His ways, but yet, i seek answers from Him.....these words are just an expression of my belief, of my strong conviction that He is going to be my anwer-provider......i have no clue when.....but yes, i believe that i will find Him there.....to be my answer-provider.....my comforter and my friend.....i seek You Lord...and i know i'll find You...!!!

May 21,2007

You Are My Answer (2007)

At the wide blue skies I look up,
and a never-ending expanse of You I find.
Like the wings of an eagle You spread out Your arms,
Ever willing to accept this helpless child of Yours.
Burdened and grieved, I turn to You, O Jesus
And Your sweet smile and warm hug lightens my heart.

Though questions still storm my heart and mind,
And answers are no where to be found
Yet Lord, I want You to be my answer
I long for You to clear up my inner turmoil.
In You, may I find the conviction that I seek
Lord, You are all I want.....all I need
Its Your soothing voice which my ears long to hear.

I believe Lord, will always believe,
that You are there,
Moments of joy and gaiety,
You are going to outpour,
Your ways are different Lord,
yet glorious, I believe.
Give this human mind the grace,
the strength, to accept Your ways,
Let my eyes know and see,
the beauty in Your ways,
And let me be in Your comforting presence for all eternity.

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His Child

Saved

2007-05-21T12:11:00.000+05:30

it was Good Friday....and as i was in church...during the service...as i looked at the covered face of Jesus on the crucifix, d words started coming out...just the first two lines...by the end of the day i had this written....
Its something so unique and amazing....Jesus died, but in His death, i...u...the entire humanity...all of us have gained so much....He shed His blood...and we gained so much...we will forever be indebted to Him for this life we are living....i mean, it's so wierd that someone should have to die for us to be living....but yeah...that is how it is...He died, and hence...we are living...

April 6,2007

Saved(2007)

Sanctified, cleansed and purified
Is how my heart now feels
The burden of my sinful deeds
My weak shoulders no longer hold
And The Man who died upon the cross
Has become my saving grace

Jesus is the name, Jesus is the Man
A heart of gold He possessed
A piece of which He gave for me

Washed and cleansed and made whole
By the blood from His nail pierced hands
My suffering and my pain
He willingly made it all His own
An act of courage, a sacrifice so great
And my life has been redeemed.

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His Child

तेरे प्रेम से

2007-05-17T22:12:00.000+05:30

I have never written anything like this before. During this prerna retreat, while i was sitting in front of the sacrament, I felt His immense love for me and I just raised my hand and asked Him to fill me completely with His love....just with His love....this is wat i ask from HIM now....few lines...

13th May 2007

हे प्रभु, तेरे प्रेम से
मेरा दिल भर जाए-२

तेरे प्रेम से, तेरे प्रेम से
प्रेम से भर जाए-२

इस राह में, हे प्रभु.
मेरे साथ रहना सदा
मैं कभी भी ना भटकूँ,
खो जाऊँ तुझमे सदा.

मेरा दिल ये कहता है
तेरा प्रेम है अपार-२

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ashish john

I find YOU

2007-05-17T11:46:00.000+05:30

There are times that I as a human being wish to seek consolation, attention, warmth, hug, affection from people around me...and who are these people? well anyone!!! sounds strange but thats how we are if we don't get the comfort or consolation we look for it in someone else's company. As a Christian I am not propagating stop all gestures of love, we all need some attention we all do but i wanna mention here what we seek from humans can never, NEVER, NEVER be satisfied...youngsters think my parents don't so my friends will, my best friends will, college going students think their new found love will supply the piece of their heart which has been missing, eligible single people think when they'll find their soul mate their search will be over.... In all this less do we realize that that missing piece of my heart is found ONLY in JESUS, thats what Archbishop Fulton Sheen said.

These lines i wrote when i could see my life searching, seeking attention, love, words of affection and when not finding anywhere ending up frustrated, irritated...untill i rested my soul in HIS presence.

19th April 2007
10:30p.m.

I FIND YOU (2007)
I wish someone comes,
stays by my side when i'm found lonely
How I wish
someone can sit with me
give me compnay
if not for long but for some moments

I find YOU... next to me

When I just wish
someone to catch my falling tear
I find YOU already
holding the drop in YOUR palm

I find YOU...

When I fail
in the presence of many
and no one's around
my human nature
expecting some one to reach out
I find YOU... already lifting me gently

When my wounds hurt, really bad
and I look for healing balm
of family
of friends
of beloved
and fine NONE
I find YOU... already comforting me

Jesus I realize
It's YOU who has HIS eyes on me
gurads me as the apple of eye
before i say a word
O Lord, YOU know it completely
YOUR Word, O Lord, is true
YOU know me more than anyone else
YOU know me more than I do myself
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love Ya,
SM_eagle

A Saint

2007-05-07T12:45:00.000+05:30

Death is something that mankind( i have to) has to still accept...its easy for me to say but difficult for those who have lost someone close to their heart. it leads to only one question, WHY? well, many people may say it, WHY NOT? but easier said than done. Recent loss of Jessy Chechi, a fantastic lady left me so....numb, with questions, emotions and tears all dried, didn't know what to say or what to think...was just speechless...about life and realities that this life brings across my face. As I gazed at her mortal body i remembered those moments of laughter i had with her during charismatic programes outside Delhi, she was a woman full of life, faith and joy. Her suffering has brought healing, blessings, faith to many, though my physical eyes can't see but YES her suffering, time of agony will not go unfruitful... JESUS I BELIEVE, just like YOU chose The CROSS as the way for Salvation YOU will draw souls back to Your heart through her fragrant offerings. As my dad says, 'She was a SAINT and is a SAINT.' Jessy chechi, pray for us.

These lines are no where close to the loss and pain the family has experienced, is experiencing and will continue to feel the absence till YOU lay YOUR healing, comforting hand on them.

2nd May 2007

HELP MY UNBELIEF
life stops and so do i,
darkness falls,
so does my faith, most of the times.
my weak knees and weak hands,
began to drop...when i heard news
that i couldn't believe

i was left speechless
when i heard the loss of a loved one
its hard and rocks my faith
death makes us feel hopeless
changes our perspective
but is that how its suppose to be?
'it was coming, move on', people say
but guess, it'll take some time
to hang and move on

Jesus, what did Your mum feel
when YOU left the warmth of Her arms
it surely would have been
tough on Her and Your disciples
not knowing that YOU'LL return
on the third day
and YOU did, like YOU promised.
so i too wait for the resurrection of all
who went before me
to be with YOU for eternity.

how i can turn angry towards YOU,
when i encounter brutal realities of life...
its so easy for me,
to wander...
to go away...
on my own way.

it's during the night
when everything is still
then i hear
questions rising within
doubts making its hold strong

little faith i have jesus
thats what i realise
and all I pray right now,
"Lord i believe, help my unbelief
Lord i believe, help my unbelief."

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Love Ya,

SM_eagle

मेरे येसू

2007-05-02T10:48:00.000+05:30

This is a ballad song with chord family of D, G, Em, Bm, A. Wrote last year while practicing for CHRISTEEN annual programme. I was broken and searching for My GOD, but didn't feel anything but my mind kept telling me that HE loves me no matter what is happening and HIS presence is there even when i don't feel. I have to work on the bridge part for this song, both lyrics and melody.

2006

12:30 a.m.

मेरे येसू तू हैं कहॉ
तुझे ढुढँती मेरी अँखियाँ
मेरा मन व्याकुल है
मेरी आत्मा टूटने को है
मुझे संभाल

मेरी आत्मा, येसू यहां
वो है करता मुझसे प्यार
अपना सर्वस्व जीवन दिया
इस से बढकर प्रेम किसका
मेरे येसू

तू है मेरा प्यार
तू है मेरी चाह , जीवन कि राह

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
rough translation

Where are You, My Jesus?
my eyes seek YOU
My heart is restless
my spirit is almost broken
comfort me

'My soul, Jesus is here
HE loves me and
He gave HIS life
no other love greater than HIS'
My Jesus

You are my desire, You are my love, the way of life
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love ya,
SM_eagle

He's My Lover

2007-04-24T23:15:00.000+05:30

Its the first piece of mine....had always felt and known that He loved me so much....so i thought of putting it into words....though words will never be enough to express His great love for me....yet here is a small token...

He's My Lover (2007)

O majestic Jesus
King of Kings, O Lord supreme
My heart longs for You
For Your tender touch O Lord
Nourish me with the warmth of Your love
Till the end of my days

O Jesus, O Saviour
You are a lover beyond compare

Your love O Lord
Has changed me through and through
Was emptied by the world
Till Your hands picked me up
Now I bank solely upon You, my lover
To fill all my empty spots
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
His Child

My weakness...HIS strength

2007-04-11T11:55:00.000+05:30

9th April 2007
00:45a.m

MY WEAKNESS-HIS STRENGTH (2007)
life doesn't seem to change
with resolutions i make
i fail & i fall
with just my human strength

i make fresh decision
to follow the Lord
on my own strength
i still drift & fall
Less do i know
it's HIS grace that i need
i need to depend
on HIM totally
on my own i am nothing
with YOU i can do all things

all i pray today
take me deeper than before
where i'll know
from YOU comes my strength
which carries me through
i need only YOU.
with power from above
i will fly high in the sky
for GOD will be the wind
beneath my feeble wings
you lift me up
from the depths of the pit
and lead me to The CROSS
that's the place i find My Lord
victorious over death
over all human weakness
death is destroyed
victory is complete

you give me faith
to hold on till the end
in my weakness
your strength is made perfect
so no longer
i am troubled
by my weaknesses
instead I believe
His grace is all I need
for HIS power is greatest
when i am weak
when i bear it all
for eternity
for HIS sake
I am now confident that
when i am weak
then i am strong
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love Ya,
SM_eagle

I heard HIM say...

2007-04-10T09:32:00.000+05:30

This is a Diary entry during my stay in Bangalore for a Discernment Retreat in 2005. It was one of the best retreat I have ever been. It was an Ignatian discernement, directed retreat by a Jesuit priest, Fr. Hilario. It gave me so many insights, deepened my understanding of HIS love, left me amazed at the rich heritage that I have inherited as a Catholic, wisdom of religious, writings and contemplation of Saints in My Church.

It was the third day of my retreat, I was sitting by the beautiful Grotto, which was surrounded by huge trees and lovely landscaping of rocks and rich green grass was done. I was meditating on the love that JESUS has for me, and as I was looking at the sky, nature and was listening to the birds chirping...I had this small thought in my heart, 'You love me Jesus, can You tell me again that You love me?'. I wanted to hear HIM, actually audible voice...{i know its crazy but what to do crazy were our saints too :-) } I sensed the trees, birds and the entire nature joining with the CREATOR to tell this small creature, me, that HE loves me and i just wrote the follwoing lines in my diary. It has some crazy lines with no rhyming at all. Here it goes...

11th February 2005
4:55 p.m.

I HEARD HIM SAY (2005)
I'm in love, in love once again
if someone asks me,
how does it feel to be in love?
oh! then all i know is
to smile, smile when i am all alone
it's...all i know is
to think about HIM all day long
it's...all i know is
to look foolish when i smile all by myself
what more can i say...i don't know much

I wanna be intoxicated in HIS love
'coz I've heard HIM say, my lover said it to me
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE."

Oh! YOU said it again & again
as the wind started to blow
trees and birds echoed it all
echoed YOUR love in my soul.
When I felt the breeze on my face
when i looked up at the sky so high
and trees just swinging along
after a brief moment of stillness.

Oh ! when I heard the birds chirping
I heard YOU say to me,
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE."

i know, HE , my lover
who else...
is watching my every move
every word i say
every thought of mine is heard
that's when I know i am loved
when i smile
when i cry
when i am Still
and when am all sooooo loud
i am given all the attention
and i am the focus
thats when i know i am HIS beloved

how many times HE says it to me
all the time, my friends... all the time
there are times, may be few,
may be many
when i don't hear HIM
I just close my eyes
and see the proof
of HIS love for me
i see HIM with HIS hands stretched out
there on the tree
thats when my heart hears it
all over again
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE.
do u love me too?"
and in those quiet moments of devotion
i confess back to HIM,
"I DO, I DO with all my heart...
YES I DO."

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Love ya,
SM_eagle

Great GOD I have!

2007-04-03T10:34:00.000+05:30

Ah! its my birthday today so I just decided I will scribble something so this one hails from today's readings Isaiah49:1-6 and the Responsorial Psalm 71.

3rd april 2007
10:oo a.m

GREAT GOD (2007)
With a new day before me
I look upto THEE
wanna sing glory and praise to YOU
for all YOU did
and for all YOU will do

Great God I have
Great GOD I serve
No one else like YOU
You are awesome and powerful
You are faithful and wonderful
Great GOD I Have
Great GOD I serve

Lord I lift my voice
to tell of Your wondrous deeds
from the days of my youth
YOU taught me Your Word
I will sing and let the world know
I will boast of Your goodness
will proclaim of Your greatness

Before I was born, Lord YOU called me
from my mother's womb
YOU gave me my name
YOU concealed me in the shadow
of Your arms
YOU made me a light to the nations
for Your salvation to reach,
to the ends of the earth.

Now I look back and see
how faithful you have been
YOU have kept Your promises
thats why I sing

Great God I have
Great GOD I serve
No one else like YOU
YOU are awesome and powerful
YOU are faithful and wonderful
Great GOD I Have
Great GOD I serve
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Need to be filled by YOU

2007-04-02T11:35:00.000+05:30

I wrote this on a Friday, as I decided to fast (after really a long time) my heart kept reminding me that as I fast i also need to fill the hunger that'll arise due to this fasting, hunger I mean physical..uff it can get maddening, somehow on the day you decide to fast you feel like eating all those things which you like also to an extent that you wouldn't mind eating what you dislike. surprising isn't it!

And as the day continued it seemed that my hunger was growing...and gently my soul was whispering, 'Lord may your body and blood feed my hunger, that I may run to YOU alone whenever i yearn for food, be it physical, spiritual or emotional food. That my HUNGER may be satisfied in YOU alone.'

NEED TO BE FILLED BY YOU
As I humble myself before YOU
I need thy grace and presence
I hunger for you, Jesus Lord
feed my soul, O Living God
quench my thirst, O River of God
My only need is
to be loved by YOU

Whom have I in heaven?
but YOU,
with all my heart and mind
I seek Thee,
let me find YOU
just speak to my soul
it''ll comfort me still

Nothing in this world fills my longing
'May my hunger never satisfy
till I come back to YOU.'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love Ya,

SM_eagle

Life without YOU

2007-04-02T10:24:00.000+05:30

Hey! this is not a sad peom but through this all I wanna say is, How incomplete I am without the presence of the Living GOD, HIS words, HIS relationship. :-) And I am waiting for eternity when I will be sitting on my Father's lap.

22 March 2007
12:15p.m.

LIFE WITHOUT YOU (2007)
life seems so upside down,
when you have no one by your side
why my heart expects love from people
despite knowing
i will end up with a broken heart
don't know theres so much of sadness
loneliness, that my spirit breaks
wish i had known the reasons
atleast one, if not all

what can i say
I just feel too numb
things look so unclear
hazy that i am disillusioned
whats my prupose in life
when i have nobody by my side
thats what the world teaches
you need someone always.

God you made me
you know me well
things within me
seem so unstill
gosh! this restlessness
makes me feel empty
this disturbed spirit
reminds me of David
'soul searching for GOD
like a deer panting for water'
remins me of St. augustine
if i am right....
'my heart will be restless till it rests in JESUS'

words fail to describe my longing
fail to decribe my need
wish i was more expressive
wish i was articulate enough to tell it all
how much we need JESUS!!!!
My Father How much
but Abba, You understood
Jesus you too
for your birth, death and resurrection
proves it all
Your love for our souls
how you too are longing to
embrace, fill us in your arms
once again
for eternity

Jesus take me in
when I stand at the gate
Father, embrace me
when I enter the gate
I want to sit by your side
feel your robe around me
knowing that
you are there by my side
for eternity
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Lenten Retreat 2007

2007-03-19T11:21:00.000+05:30

I was writing an invite for a Lenten programme and the first four lines that came to my mind kept it as opening lines for the Invitation. And now I am putting it for all the readers, if You are from NEW DELHI, do join in with your near and dear ones.

Dear reader,

"When You are hopeless, HE is Your HOPE
When You are weary, HE brings YOU rest
When You are restless, HE is Your PEACE
When you are sad, HE is YOUR JOY."

Even though life doesn't seem to bring pleasant things, HE TURNS IT AROUND for GOOD for those who LOVE GOD and are CALLED according to HIS PURPOSE.(Romans 8:28).So during this Lenten Season, I invite you and Your family to a Lenten Retreat, led by Aneel Aranha from Dubai. He is a lay person involved in the proclamation of the Word. The details are given below and also in the attached PDF file.

DATES: 30th, 31st March and 1st April 2007
DAYS: Friday, Saturday, Sunday
TIMINGS: 5:30p.m to 9:00p.m.
VENUE: Diocesan Community Centre,
Sacred Heart Cathedral, Gole Dak Khana,
1 Ashoka Place, New Delhi- 110 001

JOINTLY ORGANISED by: Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish & DELHI CATHOLIC CHARISMATIC RENEWAL SERVICES,

Entry Free. Do encourage your friends, relatives and colleagues to come and encounter a Living GOD and fall in love with HIM.

For any querry,contact
011- 23366092- DCRS Office
9213328238 - Greta

Looking forward to see you on all the days of the retreat.

P.S: To read articles by Bro. Aneel Arnaha , kindly visit http://www.holyspiritinteractive.net/columns/aneelaranha/

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Still my Soul, LORD

2007-03-14T15:16:00.000+05:30

STILL MY SOUL, LORD (2007)
It's in the darkest night that I find my shelter
in my pain i know the master's touch.
from the depths my soul cries
You are my light and my salvation

when everything in life fades,
in haste my souls searches
i find myself gazing at my shadow
not realising there's shimmering light
which falls on my back

I turn around only to find You My Morning Star
How you brighten up my life with Your presence
Where I would have been, without You
Can't imagine, can't think
All I know is
that I am destined to be with you for eternity.
All i have to do is
Walk in Your light
faithfully, patiently, Everyday.

I falter all the time
How patient You are with me
Teach me to be patient with me.

Things within me are restless
Still my soul Lord.
Still my Soul Lord
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love ya,
SM_eagle

I will gladly lay down

2007-03-07T11:20:00.000+05:30

Before hitting my bed, some words were ringing in my ears such as pride, appreciations, praise, acclaims that I receive. With these my soul whispered, what it is when compared to the glory of the Lord...NOTHING.

St. Paul's words echoed again and again from Philippians 3: 7-11 "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."

5th March 2007
11:30 p.m.

I WILL GLADLY LAY DOWN (2007)
To stay with YOU for eternity
is what I foresee
when I'll see you face to face
will submit my everything for YOU

I will gladly lay down everything
all that I own
I take pride in
it's nothing when compared to what I'll receive in exchange

YOU are my prize
YOU are the crown of life
YOU are the one
for whom I leave everything behind

To be found in YOU
is what I need,
There's no other place
that I want to be.
In Your arms
near your heart is my home
on your lap
in your embrace
my soul finds completion.

Jesus, sweet darling of mine
for sure will be waiting
at the gates
with arms open wide.
He's in love with me,
that's all I want.
I'll just do one thing
run fast to be in HIS embrace
That's my destiny,
living my life surrounded by HIS arms
for eternity.

I have written YOUR name
on my heart and soul, Lord
for I belong to Thee, my lover
and no one else at all.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love Ya,
SM_eagle

हे प्रभु

2007-02-26T11:00:00.000+05:30

Today I thought why not post one of my hindi song :-) This song came to my heart during intercession before the Holy Eucharist for a hindi retreat, Prerna, it was for the first time that Charismatic Renewal in Delhi organised programe for hindi speaking children. Even today its so crystal clear, I was with guitar leading time of intercession and after we had spent close to one hour lifting intentions to the one who hears our cries, I was plucking my fav chords family (heheh G, Em, C, D-yes in that order) words for the melody came in so smooth that I just kept humming the melodia again and again. I am typing it in roman english... will translate it and put it for those who don't follow hindi at all....here it goes...

May 2003

हे प्रभु (2003)
हे प्रभु, हम पर दया कर
हे प्रभु, हम को क्षमा कर
हम हैं अज्ञानी, और हम हैं पापी
अपनी करुणा से, हम को भर दे

येसू, तू मेरे दिल कि
एक ही चाह है, एक ही चाह है
तेरे लिए मेरा मन, प्यासा तड़पता है
जैसे एक हिरण, पानी के लिए
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This one is just a rough translation. :-)

O Lord, have mercy on us
O Lord, forgive us
we are sinful and lack knowledge
fill us with ur mercy

Jesus, You are my heart's desire
my heart's one desire
For you, my soul thirsts
like a deer pants for the water
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love Ya,
SM_eagle

My Need

2007-02-23T10:53:00.000+05:30

Things in life, most of the times, seem impossible. Unexpected incidents, which is normal in my life :-) remind me of God's creation-Tortoise...I can place myself so well with it. Like the wonderful creature, I too withdraw myself when I am restless within my soul. Just scribbled some thoughts sitting in the office... many things may not even make any sense but "To You, O Lord, I lift my Soul."

23rd February 2007
10:30 a.m

MY NEED (2007)
I am so unsettled within me, Dear GOD
lift me up, O Lord, lift me up.
too low I am today,
lift me up Lord Lift me up.

How can I put my trust in mortals,
when I know its you who are worthy of all my faith.
lift me up, for I put my trust in YOU.

Can't run this race without you,
Can't hide my face in the clouds
Can't miss Your grace that fills me everyday....
from morning till night

How I wish to be perfect but
I know that I need Thy mercy and benignity
I am restless, I need Your peace
I am impatient, I need Your Patience
I am hopeless, I need Your Hope
I am sinful, I need Your righteousness
I am judgemental, I need Your love (my list is endless Lord!!!)

So many things within me
doesn't confirm to Your word
That's where I am so sure
I need more of YOU
NEED You alone...

Say a Prayer: O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like YOURS. AMEN.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Heart Transplant

2007-02-21T12:06:00.000+05:30

I don't have any new words to write today... but this song describes my present state. On Ash Wednesday, all I want to say is...I NEED a HEART TRANSPLANT yeah! thats what I want, not even a heart transformation but a TOTAL change of my heart. I desire to see this verse coming true this lent.

Ezekiel 36: 25-28 "I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God."

YOU ARE EVERYTHING

My soul is yearning for Your living stream
My heart is aching for You
All that I long for is found in Your heart
You are everything I need

You are the thirst
You are the stream
You are the hunger living deep inside of me
You are the food that satisfies
You are provision for the journey of our lives
You are everything You are

Brian Doerksen , Steve Mitchinson
©2004 Integrity's Hosanna! Music

Say A Prayer :Jesus, thank you for letting me cling to you. I pray that I may always trust you and that you will always be at my side. Amen.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love Ya,

SM_eagle

Come and fill

2007-02-16T10:52:00.000+05:30

With a sense of hunger and brokenness I wrote these. I've been missing those quite moments that I used to spend before the Holy Eucharist... commuting up and down from college to Cathedral and back to college between the classes. Those were some rejuvinating instants. How I miss it...

14th February, 2007
11:30pm

Come fill me up
For I need YOU
Come and fill me up
For I am broken inside
Come and fill me up
For I am fragile
Strengthen my inner most being

I need Hope
I need Faith
I need Joy
All I need is YOU

What will I do without YOU?
Where would I go?
Don't know Who am I
For my existence comes from YOU
its only YOUR Spirit, who gives me life

Come and fill me with Your love Lord
Love that never fades
Love thats endless
Love that heals
Love that moulds
Bring me back to the Cross
The sign of Your eternal Love

Say A Prayer: Lord, help me to learn how to be present to you in all the situations of my life. Thank you for being present to me always. Amen

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love ya,

SM_eagle

You are...

2007-01-12T08:36:00.000+05:30

I had been there for the HOLY HOUR and few things were troubling my mind so I left immediately after Divine Praises to note down the scribbled lines during this time in my diary.

15 February 2005
Bangalore
8:40 p.m.

YOU ARE... (2005)
When I sit with YOU,
all I wanna do is
put my head on YOUR bosom
and be there
listening to Your heartbeat of YOU, my Lover.

Even if I want to get up and go
YOUR love pulls me back to YOU
and all I want to do is
gaze at YOUR holy face.

When darkness surrounds me, YOU are my light
when love fails me, YOU are my lover
YOU love me unconditionally.
Even when I don't feel YOUR love
I know...my heart knows that YOU are there...
just next to me, holding my hand.

My heartbeat slows down, when YOU are there
I don't feel the running time
everything in life seems to become still

When I have lost my love, YOU are my love
When I have no one, YOU are my true friend
YOU are my Best Friend
YOU are my Sweetheart
YOU are my lover
YOU are my all

YOU love me like a mad lover
who covers up my faults
who sees the beauty created in me
who loves those small steps
I take towards YOU.
YOU love the way I LOVE YOU, don't YOU?
YOU love the way I look at YOU
YOU love me for who I AM
Even before I was born
YOU loved me all
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Your face

2006-12-29T10:19:00.000+05:30

Psalms 27: 7-9 "Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud, be gracious to me and answer me! ‘Come,’ my heart says, ‘seek his face!’ Your face, Lord, do I seek. Do not hide your face from me."

At the end of the day, all I remember is, I am created to live in HIS house for my whole lifelong, Psalms 27:4 "One thing I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple."

5 March, 2004

YOUR FACE (2004)
Your face, O Lord, I do seek
Your spirit is all I need
What more can I ask of You
when You've given Yourself to me

When Your face shines on Me
I am restored
I look up to You, because I believe...
You alone are my Sweetheart
I am ready to do Your will
Take my life, my heart and soul
For I belong to You, My Lord
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Waiting for the Crown of Life

2006-12-15T11:02:00.000+05:30

This at its initial form was a bit different...guess quite different. I amended few lines here and there. It looks like a writing of a school kid so what...its my blog after all hehehe :-D

CROWN OF LIFE
A child conceived in the womb
not knowing what’s there in the world
growing as she ought to...just waiting to come

As she arrived, there was celebration
joy, happiness & jubilation
she was growing... as she ought to.
exploring the world
with pleasant, unpleasant surprises in store for her.

She never thought nor dreamt
Ah! What a sad world it’ll be?
a question on her mind
Why did I come to this earth?
I was secure in my mother's womb
received love, care & food
such security… found no where else.

Then she met HIM
'quite a cool guy...
but what an outdated, 2000 year old talk!'
is what she exclaimed.
But as she discovered HIM,
HE presented a new world
HE loved her…understood her
HE would sit and listen to her everyday
HE made her see her destiny...
called to be an heir to HIS kingdom!
She couldn’t believe
HE told her, 'I love you and you are the reason I came.'

Since then,
No other name on her lips but HIS
No greater love than HIS
No greater understanding than HIS
No greater listener than HIM.

She experienced something so deep and refreshing
she was filled...
with an understanding which moved in her spirit
it came from a whisper deep within.

She found new zeal in her life
which radiated in her every smile
for it was given by HIM, who loved her unconditionally
from the time of her conception till now and for eternity.

It’s still a journey which will go on
till she meets HIM in heaven
and finally receive her crown of eternal life.

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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Him alone I need

2006-12-13T14:31:00.000+05:30

These lines if I can trace back I have written, when I sat for Eucharistic adoration in Sacred Heart Cathedral, New Delhi. It has been my experience that I discovered!!! Yeah... actually discovered some of my favourite poems and music pieces in JESUS during personal and community time of worshipping JESUS in the Holy Eucharist. Psalms of David have been my inspiration, and he puts it beautifully "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire beside YOU. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever." PSALMS 73:25-26

10 June, 2002

HIM ALONE I NEED (2002)
I went to meet my lover today
when I reached I found HIM waiting for me
HE gave me a bear hug
I felt received and touched.

While sitting with HIM
my doubts and anxiety vanished
just chatting with HIM
I felt no trace of time
Ah! It just passed by...

When I sit in HIS loving and majestic presence
I need not worry for anything
with HIM all fears and tensions fade away
What more do I need... than the KING Himself!

I need HIM, I realize it as I sit with HIM more
What peace my soul & mind discover
every time I meet HIM.
All I know... I need nothing
No one but HIM.

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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Everyday...to be with YOU

2006-12-12T10:26:00.000+05:30

As I read through my own thoughts, I come to realize how passionately I have loved Jesus in my initial walk… and now I keep remembering the verse which states “But I have this against you that you have abandoned the love you had at first” Revelation 2:4
How true the word of God is, when it tells me about my state, my relationship which often grows cold, tired, lukewarm… though at times it seems impossible I gain strength from the truth that HE is a faithful God even when I am faithless. "if we are faithless, he remains faithful-- for he cannot deny himself." 2 Timothy 1:13
This keeps me walking along even when it seems hopeless ...for I know HE is my Hope and my righteousness.

11 April, 2002

Everyday... to be with YOU (2002)
I want to fall into Your embrace
just feel Your love & grace.
To be in Your arms
is what my heart longs for
to live in Your holy presence
is all I pray for

O Jesus, I need You
yearn to hear Your heart beat close to mine
to be loved by You everyday
to be held by You, whenever I am afraid
to give You glory forever
is all I dream of.

I just live to love You
without You Jesus
I can't stand before the throne
long to gaze at Your face every moment
keeping myself in tune to Your gentle say.

What more do I need in life,
when I have You Jesus
for nothing else of the world will suffice.
All I ask…
Your presence & love,

to live with You everyday of my life.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

It is YOU JESUS

2006-12-11T10:01:00.000+05:30

When we become source of bringing joy, peace and healing to people around us, its nice to receive all encouragement, appreciation, praises but somewhere all this belongs to HIM from whom, we receive these graces. David puts it in his Psalm 115:1 "Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness."

Though I don't remember in what situation I wrote this, but it reminded me of this one thing that when people recognise the goodness, holiness and wonderful things about me it all flows from HIM, who is the source of all goodness. I need to give all the glory to HIM and HIM alone.

18 April, 2002

JESUS source of all... It is You JESUS (2002)
It's not me, who makes a difference in people's life
It is YOU, JESUS. I am just an instrument.
It's not me, who makes people smile
It is YOU, JESUS. I am just an instrument.

It is not I, who brings joy to their hearts
It is YOU, JESUS. I am just an instrument.
It is not I, who eases their pain in the darkest night
It's YOU, JESUS. I am just an instrument.

It is not I, who during their problems make them feel at peace
It is YOU, JESUS. I am just an instrument.
It is YOU JESUS.

Everyday I just say, 'Yes' to HIM
and HE fills me with Joy that comes from within
Everyday I just say, 'I love You Lord'
and He says, 'love everyone in one accord.'
when in my pain, I cry to HIM
when I am restless
HE calls me to rest in His sacred, loving & compassionate heart.

O what an Amazing God I have
a friend, a brother
every relation that I need
I have found in HIM
Without YOU, who am I?
all I desire is that, the world knows YOU through me

And in YOU alone I AM COMPLETE.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

When I am with You

2006-12-01T23:36:00.000+05:30

I found one of my old journal, which had some poems, thoughts... This I remember I wrote when I was sitting in Sacred Heart Cathedral, New Delhi...this is what I felt in my heart. As a lover feels the presence of the beloved so soothing and comforting and one doesn't need anything or anyone...

25 May, 2002

WHEN I AM WITH YOU (2002)
When my eyes meet Yours
There is a land which I see
the place where I belong
I have a home for sure
and I just know where to go

When my heart becomes one with You
love which fills my heart and it leads me through
in my lowest times and highest peak

I have Your love as my consolation
No matter what I am going through
But I know You'll lead me on
Your Presence is what I need
Nothing else will satisfy my soul

I am just fulfilled, joyful and feel complete
O Lord, When I AM WITH YOU
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Moment of grace

2006-11-21T22:58:00.000+05:30

Whenever I struggle and feel like giving up, its HIS passion, death and resurrection that keeps me going on. I turn to what St.Paul in his First letter to Corinthian church writes, "For the message about the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God...For God's foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God's weakness is stronger than the human strength." {Ch1:18 &25}.

You might be going through really..really..really harsh times, which can't even be described in human words and you feel like giving up, my friends, I encourage you to look at JESUS in garden of Gethsemane, who is looking at the Father recieving the strength and grace during this darkest night of not just the gospel but of HIS very own life on earth.

28 February, 2004
11:30 p.m.

MOMENT OF GRACE (2004)
Every dark night I feel, 'I'm done'
Can't walk anymore
I fall with no energy to stand...up again!!!

Then You show me Your walk upto the Calvary
even You had torturous falls
not just physical, but emotionally ripping You apart
You show me that pulling of Your beard
You show me public humiliation You went through
seeing all that...
I feel not even little have I comforted You
by refusing to carry my shame and insults

I just know, by Your compassionate looks
what I need to do.
All He says, "Just get up and walk, you're not alone
I'll walk with you, all over again."
so with the strength I recieve from My Lord
in that moment of grace
I stand and walk again
knowing I need HIM at every step,
will surely find the strength in that one moment of grace.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

My longing

2006-11-19T20:51:00.000+05:30

Life in Christ is surely not a cake walk, its challenging, its demanding, its a fight against my flesh, trials and temptations. Like Peter, when I take notice of the strong wind, waves, difficulties; I too begin to sink, but my Lord so faithful immediately reaches HIS hand and holds me, lifts my spirit to soar in the midst of storm and no longer strong winds, waves in my life bother me...for HE calms it all within me.

28 February, 2004

MY LONGING(2004)
My soul is longing to be in Your embrace
that's the only place, where I find comfort
Hide me in Your wounds
where I get strengthened
In silence I look up to You
to hear and learn from You

All the longings of my life seem to be useless
the moment I see Your awesome face
seeing You on the Cross
I am ashamed of myself, my sins,
the tears of mine are not sufficient
I fall again and again
What a wretched creature I am!
When I loose my hope, I look upto You...
things are out of order in my life
which reminds me I need to accept Your Lordship...once again.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Come in our hearts

2006-11-18T10:21:00.000+05:30

I don't even remember under which circumstance I wrote this...guess was just thinking...and I wrote it. :-)

7 April, 2001

COME IN OUR HEARTS (2001)
Come in Our hearts today, Lord
with Your joy & happiness fill this place
let there be songs of praise
our hearts, minds & soul we raise

Fill this place with Your presence
touch our lives & make us whole again
For we stand in need of You
and Your presence Lord

Under Your wings hide me Lord
'cause there are fears deep within
cover me with you strong arms
Hide me under your wings of love
that I may experience Your love's warmth.

Come today in our hearts, lives & minds
we leave passions of the world behind
and follow the Cross everywhere
We'll be witness even in despair
come in our hearts today Lord
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

I'd love YOU

2006-11-14T12:20:00.000+05:30

27 January, 2005

I want to be an ardent lover of Christ..even though at times I don't know what it calls for...

I'm gonna love YOU, all of my days
I'm gonna love YOU, No matter what it takes
I'm gonna love YOU, though circumstances fail
I'm gonna love YOU, no matter what people say
For I will smile at YOU
For I will cry to YOU
For I will hold on to YOU
For I will sing unto YOU
I LOVE YOU LORD.

It calls for Decision
It calls for paying price...

I'd love YOU, when I am with YOU
I'd love YOU, when YOU are there for me
I'd love YOU, when things go wrong
I'd love YOU, when I don't have a song
I'd love YOU, when I feel dry and wretched
I'd love YOU, when everything seems alright
I'd love YOU, no matter what comes
But my sweetheart, Jesus, give me the grace to be an ardent lover of yours.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

In the Stillness

2006-11-13T23:23:00.000+05:30

One of the bad thing with me is that I don't have the habbit of recording the melodies and the result is when I need to remember it, I have no clue about some parts of my poems. This melody I composed in 2002...I have forgotten the original melody, a bit of chorus... guess will try and work it out. Its on D, G, Em.

IN THE STILLNESS (2002)
In the stillness of my heart
Speak your word and let my sin depart
In the stillness of my heart
Tell those words of comfort

'Cause I need to hear from YOU
'Cause I need to love YOU more
And I need to learn from YOU
For YOU are humble & meek of Heart

In the presence of my Lord
I love to sit and I love to adore
In YOUR presence, O my Lord
I love to come to worship
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Let me walk with You

2006-11-13T22:42:00.000+05:30

Just felt like writing and this is what I wrote...no rhyming, no phrases...what I felt like doing was expressed in my diary.

9 January, 2004
11:15pm

LET ME WALK WITH YOU (2004)
I'm gonna walk upto the Calvary
and ask for mercy for my sins
My debts, my punishment is what I see
price paid by Christ on the tree.

Let me walk along with You Jesus to the Calvary
give You company on this way of sorrow and pain
I want to give You comfort,
wipe Your tears
love You even more
Let me walk upto the Calvary with YOU
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Never knew... Love... Now I know

2006-11-07T13:10:00.000+05:30

What a blessing to know a GOD, who loved you so much, that HE laid down HIS life on HIS own for you & me... Though I was a christian by birth, I discovered my GOD gradually over the years. As You read through, I pray may you have a personal encounter with the one, who has loved you even before the foundation of the earth, outpours HIS love on you this very moment and will continue till the end of your life. Smile for HE LOVES YOU, proof...LOOK at THE CROSS.

4 January, 2001

NEVER KNEW...LOVE...NOW I KNOW (2001)
I never knew...
that HE was there, when I cried
Never knew...
HE was there, when I struggled & tried
Never knew...
HE was there, when I was totally broken
Never knew...
HE was there, when those harsh words were spoken
Never knew...
HE was there, through my hard & rough times
and soothed my soul with HIS sweet chimes.

But, it was I,
who never heard those words of comfort,
"Come, my loving child, the apple of my eye.
I am always there...hear my voice that cries,
I Love You in those times of brokeness
I Love You when you go through trials
I Love You when your spirit is frail
for I want to let you know....in your frailty I am great."

What love! love so real
Love that I can see and feel
Love, which is so deep
and everyday I breathe
Love, which touches
my life and my soul
Love, which takes away
my trails and cries
giving me ease and freedom
in everything I do
with Your power & strength
I will go,
To tell the world
about Your love, which is always there
all you need to do is,
Open your life
Open the areas of trial & brokeness
and HE will be there.
HE'LL be there, whenever you need HIM,
whenever you call HIM, HE'LL be there
with HIS love, comforting you night & day.

Now I know...
HE was, is & will be there
when I cry
HE will be there
when I try
HE will be there
when I am broken
HE will be there
when those harsh words will be spoken
Now I know...
HE was, is & will be there
'Cause HE's known as
EMAMUNEL-God with us.
HE'LL be there
through all my rough & hard times
soothing & loving my soul
with HIS sweet chimes.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

You are the One

2006-11-06T22:28:00.000+05:30

This song I remember very clearly, because this one I wrote and composed on 30 December, 2003. I was preparing for 31 December 2003 Thanksgiving adoration and as I strummed my guitar, this melody and lyrics came spontaneously. Its on G, C9, D, Em, C (one of my favourite chord combination).

YOU ARE THE ONE (2003)
You are the anchor of my soul
Jesus, You alone I adore
You're the Prince of Peace
You're the King of kings

You alone came to die for me
You now live in me
Jesus, You are the ONE
who sets me free.

You're the Way and the Truth
You're the Life and the Door
Jesus, You are the ONE
who is my all.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Just for me

2006-11-06T11:28:00.000+05:30

23 March, 2004

JUST FOR ME
With wind on my face,
I feel Your hug, Your love & Your embrace.
The freshness of the air,
the stillness at night...
it reminds me of the works of Your hand,
the sun, the moon, all stars hanging up in the sky
you made all that...just for me!
The Universe in its totality declares one thing
My Lord loves me intensely!!!

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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Time stands still

2006-11-06T11:17:00.000+05:30

12 February, 2004
11:40pm

Like a new moon, renew me Jesus
at times my heart just wishes to be with YOU forever.
Like a mad lover....my being has an immense longing for YOU, my Lord.
My life is just not enough, to give You the glory
Your love...your love is too great for me, it takes my breath away.
I miss out on a heartbeat everytime I get a glimpse of Your love for me.

I just lift up my heart and my hand to tell You, 'I Love YOU'.
It's deep, strong emotion in my heart...
so deep, so strong that I loose my sleep... thinking about You, JESUS,
time stands still with YOU.

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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Inner You

2006-11-05T13:49:00.000+05:30

This is from the bottom of my heart, year 1999. Its surely is amazing to feel, to see, to recognize what love for someone can do to you. It shifts focus from oneself to someone else. St. Paul says it all in one line..."Love never ends."

INNER YOU (1999)
I saw an inner You,
which made me fall for you.
Physical charm, physical beauty,
it's all a transitory stage,
which fades away as time passes by.

I saw something, which I see
only in you & in nobody else.
I saw an understanding,
a person who holds a different place in my heart.

You hold 'second special place' in my life.
A soft corner in my heart
will always be there for you.

Even when You will leave me,
alone in this big world,
even when you're gone,
lost among the crowd
I can recognize you, even if my eyes can't...
my heart will surely do.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Heart of love

2006-11-03T23:58:00.000+05:30

As I was chatting with my cousin, Amit, the idea of this post clicked and here it is. Thanks Amit... this one is for you. This was a song that me and my cousin brother, Nikhil, composed and I gave words to it. Its on Em, C, D, Am, G.

HEART OF LOVE (2001)
Those beautiful eyes are searching,
A heart of love is thirsty
Arms of compassion are empty,
For you HE is waiting.

For You, HE is searching; For You, HE is waiting
see for yourself, a world, a MAN,
on The Cross hanging, wanting to love.

Wanting to embrace You, hold You close to HIS heart
touch HIM and HE'LL touch You,
HE'LL heal your broken heart.
run back to HIM, hold HIM tight
never let go.

Wanting to love You, more day by day...
Give Your life in HIS hand
and you'll see The Promised Land
Taste HIS love and drink HIS Spirit
poured on us.
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Love ya,
SM_eagle

I'm in love...

2006-11-03T17:26:00.000+05:30

As I went through my notes, found more lines dipped in love. I wrote this as a young girl, whose waiting for someone special... My writings were those of an amateur that time and so are even today... Well, the waiting time is still on...and I still have that young girl hidden somewhere in my heart.

I'M IN LOVE (June 1998)
I long to be with someone like you,
wherever and whichever way you go
'coz I'm in love with You,
and I wish to stay and know you more.

I want to express my love,
but have fear of rejection...
what if, you say 'NO' and break my heart.

I want, you to propose me
that I may accept and be free.
I hope for that day to come,
when you'll say, 'You're my love'

And we'll stand in defence of love
'coz our love will be as pure as dove.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

I long for...

2006-11-02T16:26:00.000+05:30

Another diary entry...I wrote this when my life was going through major inner turmoil. My soul was parched and I longed just for HIM, who knew what I was going through...

1 May, 2004

I LONG FOR...
When one is up late in the night
and remembers all painful things of life
tears just fill your eyes
trying to figure out the answer for the famous question "WHY"

All I remember deep in my heart
to let those tears flow in HIS presence in the dark.
No one to see you through,
no one to hug,
no one to wipe those tears.

I long for HIS voice and for HIS touch,
wish I can see HIM with my physical eyes...
sitting beside me, putting HIS gentle arms around me...comforting me
gathering my tears in HIS palm
and whispering to me, 'I cherish each one.'
Come give me a warm hug in the stillness,
my heart longs for such a moment.

'I Miss YOU, Lord.' my soul tells...
where to find HIM is the only concern.
Change me, Mould me...all I want
just play a love song to my soul
and let YOUR healing flow...

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Love ya,
SM_eagle

Wish to contnue my journey...with YOU

2006-11-02T13:09:00.001+05:30

Just wanna post few of my diary entries.....

22 February, 2004

12:15a.m.

When I look back..... Life seemed to be in a mess, till YOU came...

When YOU came, YOU were more than a miracle, more than a wonder. Who knew...

YOU came to make the difference, to change my life for eternity. Transformed my outlook... way to look at situations, people and things.

Don't know What, How and Why it happened, but down the years its been beautiful... to grow from a young girl to a woman....

With YOU JESUS...I wish to continue my journey...With YOU...

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Love Ya,

SM_eagle

Say 'Yes' to HIM & see the change

2006-11-02T00:00:00.000+05:30

Through many church programes, we come to encounter JESUS...we give our life...we make HIM our LORD and SAVIOUR but as we start walking, we come in conflict with our flesh ..... Now in this inner conflict...whose side do we take? Do we FIGHT back or give in those temptations... Here is what I have to say

SAY YES TO HIM & SEE THE CHANGE (2000)
Say 'YES' to HIM & let HIM rule your life,
with HIS coming you will be
free from all the strife.
HE will change the world around you,
and you will see everything brand new!

HE will make you a new creation,
and take you towards perfect completion.
HE will transform you slowly... into HIS image and likeness.
that whoever will see you... they'll ask "Are You Jesus of Nazereth?"

People will see the change in your life,
many will appreciate and greet you with a smile.
But beware... don't fly too high
or you will be left with just a sigh!
Many will discourage you, but don't be shy....
to acknowledge HIS presence in your life.
People will say, "It's no use...
...you don't know where you'll land."
But my friends, Keep Yourself
Walking with JESUS hand in hand.

No matter what you do, No matter what people say,
tell people that HE moulds You in HIS way.

There's a JOY unending, which your soul recieve
JOY, which no one else in the world can give.

He spends blindly on YOU HIS unconditional love,
so Don't let HIM down
'Coz HE redeemed YOU from sin & grief
HE gave You life abundant & free
So Dear Friends, 'Let's Just Live For HIM'.
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Stolen my heart

2006-11-01T20:59:00.000+05:30

This one goes way back to June 1998...I had just started understanding what it means to have crush, mushy-mushy feeling, puppy love, when you get that one glance by someone whom you like....Oh! boy it surely is a special feeling...so here am I refreshing my first crush memories.

STOLEN MY HEART (1998)

You have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes
You have stolen my heart
with one smile you gave to me
You have stolen my heart
with the thoughts you have

You have stolen my heart
with the appreciation you have for me
You have stolen my heart
with the understanding you show
You have stolen my heart
with the love you hold for me

All these things made me to fall for you
I fall totally & completely in love with you
Everytime I see or talk to you
I feel like saying, "Fallen in love with you all over again."

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Love ya,
SM_eagle

Man of a BIG heart

2006-11-01T18:32:00.000+05:30

These few lines were my first ever published lines in a local christian magazine, so here I put these as my first post too...

MAN OF A BIG HEART (2000)
Looking at the man on the wooden Cross,
naked, stripped off HIS clothes,
such pain and suffering,
Can You imagine, what HE undertook?

Man with such a big heart,
who forgave till the last,
forgave each and every person HE met,
even YOU and ME are included.

HE paid such a big price,
but we forgot and gave HIM a surprise.
What made HIM to do that?
Was HE off the track?
It was hard for me to understand,
until I heard HIM say,
"I LOVE YOU & for YOU I STAND."

I realised the importance of The CROSS and thorns
and experienced how much love, HE holds for me in HIS heart.
HIS heart is full of love & mercy,
which flows especially for YOU & ME.

No wonder HE changed lives of so many,
I challenge you, my friends
HE'll do it for YOU as HE did it for me.
Because HE's a MAN of a BIG HEART.
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Love ya,
SM_eagle