A BROKEN VESSEL

It comes from my hurts, anger, frustrations, failures, sins. Questions in my mind of How can I ever be useful with so much brokenness inside. 

A Broken Vessel

Life seems perfect, 

with things going 

just the way 

it’s suppose to go.

It isn’t raining 

No wind blowing

Nor the floods coming 

Life is safe and smooth.

When that big hurdle come 

things get upset 

one thing after the other.

Sometimes it starts little

and has domino effect.

Everything feel like 

falling in a row

Soul, mind and body

the ripple effect

gets to all. 

Winds have been blowing 

Rains have been hitting hard

The life that we built 

Is being shaken to the core.

Unanswered questions 

And it only piles more.

Everything is broken 

Nothing seems right

Even things that were blessing 

Feels like a curse 

Not a blessing but even worse!!!

There comes a time 

When life is unfair 

From all sides

Nothing goes right 

Hurts, wounds

Brokenness 

Feelings of anger, rage 

Rejection, disappointment 

When it all rushes

like a flood 

it is overwhelming.

Unjust 

Wrong 

Hopeless

Distrust 

Darkness inside and out

Faithless

Where to run?

Where to hide?

What to do?

There is deep abyss 

Which goes even deeper 

That I cannot fathom 

Feeling of falling 

without any one to hold on 

Approaching death 

Almost looks like 

It is my end

I hear myself say

I am done.

How can I be 

Of any use?

My wrongs...

Failures and Sins 

Are shackles tying me down.

I can’t walk,

Forget about running.

I can’t rise,

Forget about flying.

I can't do good,

forget about loving.

Lord you too said 

It is finished 

You are done

not with despair

but knowing it well

What was kept in store 

at The End.

For you rose again 

Came back to life 

And tell me once more

Broken vessels I use 

My sins 

You wore as crown 

Nails didn't stop you 

Bleeding heart 

poured healing

You emptied Yourself

completely

freely and faithfully.

Can you Lord …?

Can you use me ?

Really ???

Me... a broken one 

Full of shame

Hurt anger and pain 

Such a contradiction 

To your gospel of love

My mind can’t comprehend.

How my broken parts

makes sense to You

my aching heart

be a source of hope

to someone...

anyone... but How ?

You give me 

treasure to hold within.

This broken vessel

lets out the light

through those cracks

through those failures and sin.

I discover

You get the glory

You have the power

and it's not me

You are the reason

that a broken vessel

like me

becomes a source of hope

to those in need.

I just need to trust You

hold on to the gift of faith

until you come…. or,

till my life is done.

The contradictions of my life

are in your hand

Help me yield to You

allow You 

to mould this broken vessel

whenever you ask me to.

Strengthen me 

to repair the wrongs

the sins

the hurts

afflicted by me.

Let me be a broken vessel

in Your gentle hands

once again 

to set the captives free.

To let them know

It is not about 'them'

but 'You', who does the work

through us till the end.

Let me be a broken vessel

in Your gentle hands, Lord

once again !!!

love ya,

sm_eagle