I heard HIM say...

This is a Diary entry during my stay in Bangalore for a Discernment Retreat in 2005. It was one of the best retreat I have ever been. It was an Ignatian discernement, directed retreat by a Jesuit priest, Fr. Hilario. It gave me so many insights, deepened my understanding of HIS love, left me amazed at the rich heritage that I have inherited as a Catholic, wisdom of religious, writings and contemplation of Saints in My Church.

It was the third day of my retreat, I was sitting by the beautiful Grotto, which was surrounded by huge trees and lovely landscaping of rocks and rich green grass was done. I was meditating on the love that JESUS has for me, and as I was looking at the sky, nature and was listening to the birds chirping...I had this small thought in my heart, 'You love me Jesus, can You tell me again that You love me?'. I wanted to hear HIM, actually audible voice...{i know its crazy but what to do crazy were our saints too :-) } I sensed the trees, birds and the entire nature joining with the CREATOR to tell this small creature, me, that HE loves me and i just wrote the follwoing lines in my diary. It has some crazy lines with no rhyming at all. Here it goes...

11th February 2005
4:55 p.m.

I HEARD HIM SAY (2005)
I'm in love, in love once again
if someone asks me,
how does it feel to be in love?
oh! then all i know is
to smile, smile when i am all alone
it's...all i know is
to think about HIM all day long
it's...all i know is
to look foolish when i smile all by myself
what more can i say...i don't know much

I wanna be intoxicated in HIS love
'coz I've heard HIM say, my lover said it to me
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE."

Oh! YOU said it again & again
as the wind started to blow
trees and birds echoed it all
echoed YOUR love in my soul.
When I felt the breeze on my face
when i looked up at the sky so high
and trees just swinging along
after a brief moment of stillness.

Oh ! when I heard the birds chirping
I heard YOU say to me,
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE."

i know, HE , my lover
who else...
is watching my every move
every word i say
every thought of mine is heard
that's when I know i am loved
when i smile
when i cry
when i am Still
and when am all sooooo loud
i am given all the attention
and i am the focus
thats when i know i am HIS beloved

how many times HE says it to me
all the time, my friends... all the time
there are times, may be few,
may be many
when i don't hear HIM
I just close my eyes
and see the proof
of HIS love for me
i see HIM with HIS hands stretched out
there on the tree
thats when my heart hears it
all over again
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE.
do u love me too?"
and in those quiet moments of devotion
i confess back to HIM,
"I DO, I DO with all my heart...
YES I DO."

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Love ya,
SM_eagle