My weakness...HIS strength

9th April 2007
00:45a.m

MY WEAKNESS-HIS STRENGTH (2007)
life doesn't seem to change
with resolutions i make
i fail & i fall
with just my human strength

i make fresh decision
to follow the Lord
on my own strength
i still drift & fall
Less do i know
it's HIS grace that i need
i need to depend
on HIM totally
on my own i am nothing
with YOU i can do all things

all i pray today
take me deeper than before
where i'll know
from YOU comes my strength
which carries me through
i need only YOU.
with power from above
i will fly high in the sky
for GOD will be the wind
beneath my feeble wings
you lift me up
from the depths of the pit
and lead me to The CROSS
that's the place i find My Lord
victorious over death
over all human weakness
death is destroyed
victory is complete

you give me faith
to hold on till the end
in my weakness
your strength is made perfect
so no longer
i am troubled
by my weaknesses
instead I believe
His grace is all I need
for HIS power is greatest
when i am weak
when i bear it all
for eternity
for HIS sake
I am now confident that
when i am weak
then i am strong
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

I heard HIM say...

This is a Diary entry during my stay in Bangalore for a Discernment Retreat in 2005. It was one of the best retreat I have ever been. It was an Ignatian discernement, directed retreat by a Jesuit priest, Fr. Hilario. It gave me so many insights, deepened my understanding of HIS love, left me amazed at the rich heritage that I have inherited as a Catholic, wisdom of religious, writings and contemplation of Saints in My Church.

It was the third day of my retreat, I was sitting by the beautiful Grotto, which was surrounded by huge trees and lovely landscaping of rocks and rich green grass was done. I was meditating on the love that JESUS has for me, and as I was looking at the sky, nature and was listening to the birds chirping...I had this small thought in my heart, 'You love me Jesus, can You tell me again that You love me?'. I wanted to hear HIM, actually audible voice...{i know its crazy but what to do crazy were our saints too :-) } I sensed the trees, birds and the entire nature joining with the CREATOR to tell this small creature, me, that HE loves me and i just wrote the follwoing lines in my diary. It has some crazy lines with no rhyming at all. Here it goes...

11th February 2005
4:55 p.m.

I HEARD HIM SAY (2005)
I'm in love, in love once again
if someone asks me,
how does it feel to be in love?
oh! then all i know is
to smile, smile when i am all alone
it's...all i know is
to think about HIM all day long
it's...all i know is
to look foolish when i smile all by myself
what more can i say...i don't know much

I wanna be intoxicated in HIS love
'coz I've heard HIM say, my lover said it to me
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE."

Oh! YOU said it again & again
as the wind started to blow
trees and birds echoed it all
echoed YOUR love in my soul.
When I felt the breeze on my face
when i looked up at the sky so high
and trees just swinging along
after a brief moment of stillness.

Oh ! when I heard the birds chirping
I heard YOU say to me,
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE."

i know, HE , my lover
who else...
is watching my every move
every word i say
every thought of mine is heard
that's when I know i am loved
when i smile
when i cry
when i am Still
and when am all sooooo loud
i am given all the attention
and i am the focus
thats when i know i am HIS beloved

how many times HE says it to me
all the time, my friends... all the time
there are times, may be few,
may be many
when i don't hear HIM
I just close my eyes
and see the proof
of HIS love for me
i see HIM with HIS hands stretched out
there on the tree
thats when my heart hears it
all over again
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE.
do u love me too?"
and in those quiet moments of devotion
i confess back to HIM,
"I DO, I DO with all my heart...
YES I DO."

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Love ya,
SM_eagle

Great GOD I have!

Ah! its my birthday today so I just decided I will scribble something so this one hails from today's readings Isaiah49:1-6 and the Responsorial Psalm 71.

3rd april 2007
10:oo a.m

GREAT GOD (2007)
With a new day before me
I look upto THEE
wanna sing glory and praise to YOU
for all YOU did
and for all YOU will do

Great God I have
Great GOD I serve
No one else like YOU
You are awesome and powerful
You are faithful and wonderful
Great GOD I Have
Great GOD I serve

Lord I lift my voice
to tell of Your wondrous deeds
from the days of my youth
YOU taught me Your Word
I will sing and let the world know
I will boast of Your goodness
will proclaim of Your greatness

Before I was born, Lord YOU called me
from my mother's womb
YOU gave me my name
YOU concealed me in the shadow
of Your arms
YOU made me a light to the nations
for Your salvation to reach,
to the ends of the earth.

Now I look back and see
how faithful you have been
YOU have kept Your promises
thats why I sing

Great God I have
Great GOD I serve
No one else like YOU
YOU are awesome and powerful
YOU are faithful and wonderful
Great GOD I Have
Great GOD I serve
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Need to be filled by YOU

I wrote this on a Friday, as I decided to fast (after really a long time) my heart kept reminding me that as I fast i also need to fill the hunger that'll arise due to this fasting, hunger I mean physical..uff it can get maddening, somehow on the day you decide to fast you feel like eating all those things which you like also to an extent that you wouldn't mind eating what you dislike. surprising isn't it!

And as the day continued it seemed that my hunger was growing...and gently my soul was whispering, 'Lord may your body and blood feed my hunger, that I may run to YOU alone whenever i yearn for food, be it physical, spiritual or emotional food. That my HUNGER may be satisfied in YOU alone.'

NEED TO BE FILLED BY YOU
As I humble myself before YOU
I need thy grace and presence
I hunger for you, Jesus Lord
feed my soul, O Living God
quench my thirst, O River of God
My only need is
to be loved by YOU

Whom have I in heaven?
but YOU,
with all my heart and mind
I seek Thee,
let me find YOU
just speak to my soul
it''ll comfort me still

Nothing in this world fills my longing
'May my hunger never satisfy
till I come back to YOU.'

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Love Ya,

SM_eagle

Life without YOU

Hey! this is not a sad peom but through this all I wanna say is, How incomplete I am without the presence of the Living GOD, HIS words, HIS relationship. :-) And I am waiting for eternity when I will be sitting on my Father's lap.

22 March 2007
12:15p.m.

LIFE WITHOUT YOU (2007)
life seems so upside down,
when you have no one by your side
why my heart expects love from people
despite knowing
i will end up with a broken heart
don't know theres so much of sadness
loneliness, that my spirit breaks
wish i had known the reasons
atleast one, if not all

what can i say
I just feel too numb
things look so unclear
hazy that i am disillusioned
whats my prupose in life
when i have nobody by my side
thats what the world teaches
you need someone always.

God you made me
you know me well
things within me
seem so unstill
gosh! this restlessness
makes me feel empty
this disturbed spirit
reminds me of David
'soul searching for GOD
like a deer panting for water'
remins me of St. augustine
if i am right....
'my heart will be restless till it rests in JESUS'

words fail to describe my longing
fail to decribe my need
wish i was more expressive
wish i was articulate enough to tell it all
how much we need JESUS!!!!
My Father How much
but Abba, You understood
Jesus you too
for your birth, death and resurrection
proves it all
Your love for our souls
how you too are longing to
embrace, fill us in your arms
once again
for eternity

Jesus take me in
when I stand at the gate
Father, embrace me
when I enter the gate
I want to sit by your side
feel your robe around me
knowing that
you are there by my side
for eternity
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle