Like the...

27th May 2007

Like the stars in heaven,
Wish I can remember Thee.
With a grateful heart,
Return my thanks to Thee.

Like a breeze on my face,
Let Thy spirit move,touch me gently.
In my inner being,
Let me be one with Thee.

Like the soil of the earth,
Humbly, I touch thy feet.
Like the trees of the field,
Let me stand firm, in THY Holy Will.
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Love ya
SM_eagle

More of HIM

This was a diary entry, on which JJ- arrey akka Josun Jose brother helped me. He has been motivating me to work, rework and rework. I like it now, it's much better than the first draft. Thank You JJ bro...Thou shall be my editor :-) what say? Ready to sign a contract with me hehehe. So this one is for JJ. You have been a Blessing to me.

10th March 2002

MORE OF HIM (2002)
Seeking Thee is my desire

To walk on thy path i yearn
in humility, gentleness and sincerity
I desire thee

Sweet Spirit of Love,
mould me, transform me from within
humbly, earnestly, gently
i come

I desire more of HIM
every single moment
every passing second
I desire him more and more.
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Love ya,
SM_eagle

I find YOU

There are times that I as a human being wish to seek consolation, attention, warmth, hug, affection from people around me...and who are these people? well anyone!!! sounds strange but thats how we are if we don't get the comfort or consolation we look for it in someone else's company. As a Christian I am not propagating stop all gestures of love, we all need some attention we all do but i wanna mention here what we seek from humans can never, NEVER, NEVER be satisfied...youngsters think my parents don't so my friends will, my best friends will, college going students think their new found love will supply the piece of their heart which has been missing, eligible single people think when they'll find their soul mate their search will be over.... In all this less do we realize that that missing piece of my heart is found ONLY in JESUS, thats what Archbishop Fulton Sheen said.

These lines i wrote when i could see my life searching, seeking attention, love, words of affection and when not finding anywhere ending up frustrated, irritated...untill i rested my soul in HIS presence.

19th April 2007
10:30p.m.

I FIND YOU (2007)
I wish someone comes,
stays by my side when i'm found lonely
How I wish
someone can sit with me
give me compnay
if not for long but for some moments

I find YOU... next to me

When I just wish
someone to catch my falling tear
I find YOU already
holding the drop in YOUR palm

I find YOU...

When I fail
in the presence of many
and no one's around
my human nature
expecting some one to reach out
I find YOU... already lifting me gently

When my wounds hurt, really bad
and I look for healing balm
of family
of friends
of beloved
and fine NONE
I find YOU... already comforting me

Jesus I realize
It's YOU who has HIS eyes on me
gurads me as the apple of eye
before i say a word
O Lord, YOU know it completely
YOUR Word, O Lord, is true
YOU know me more than anyone else
YOU know me more than I do myself
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

A Saint

Death is something that mankind( i have to) has to still accept...its easy for me to say but difficult for those who have lost someone close to their heart. it leads to only one question, WHY? well, many people may say it, WHY NOT? but easier said than done. Recent loss of Jessy Chechi, a fantastic lady left me so....numb, with questions, emotions and tears all dried, didn't know what to say or what to think...was just speechless...about life and realities that this life brings across my face. As I gazed at her mortal body i remembered those moments of laughter i had with her during charismatic programes outside Delhi, she was a woman full of life, faith and joy. Her suffering has brought healing, blessings, faith to many, though my physical eyes can't see but YES her suffering, time of agony will not go unfruitful... JESUS I BELIEVE, just like YOU chose The CROSS as the way for Salvation YOU will draw souls back to Your heart through her fragrant offerings. As my dad says, 'She was a SAINT and is a SAINT.' Jessy chechi, pray for us.

These lines are no where close to the loss and pain the family has experienced, is experiencing and will continue to feel the absence till YOU lay YOUR healing, comforting hand on them.

2nd May 2007

HELP MY UNBELIEF
life stops and so do i,
darkness falls,
so does my faith, most of the times.
my weak knees and weak hands,
began to drop...when i heard news
that i couldn't believe

i was left speechless
when i heard the loss of a loved one
its hard and rocks my faith
death makes us feel hopeless
changes our perspective
but is that how its suppose to be?
'it was coming, move on', people say
but guess, it'll take some time
to hang and move on

Jesus, what did Your mum feel
when YOU left the warmth of Her arms
it surely would have been
tough on Her and Your disciples
not knowing that YOU'LL return
on the third day
and YOU did, like YOU promised.
so i too wait for the resurrection of all
who went before me
to be with YOU for eternity.

how i can turn angry towards YOU,
when i encounter brutal realities of life...
its so easy for me,
to wander...
to go away...
on my own way.

it's during the night
when everything is still
then i hear
questions rising within
doubts making its hold strong

little faith i have jesus
thats what i realise
and all I pray right now,
"Lord i believe, help my unbelief
Lord i believe, help my unbelief."

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Love Ya,

SM_eagle

मेरे येसू

This is a ballad song with chord family of D, G, Em, Bm, A. Wrote last year while practicing for CHRISTEEN annual programme. I was broken and searching for My GOD, but didn't feel anything but my mind kept telling me that HE loves me no matter what is happening and HIS presence is there even when i don't feel. I have to work on the bridge part for this song, both lyrics and melody.

2006

12:30 a.m.

मेरे येसू तू हैं कहॉ
तुझे ढुढँती मेरी अँखियाँ
मेरा मन व्याकुल है
मेरी आत्मा टूटने को है
मुझे संभाल

मेरी आत्मा, येसू यहां
वो है करता मुझसे प्यार
अपना सर्वस्व जीवन दिया
इस से बढकर प्रेम किसका
मेरे येसू


तू है मेरा प्यार
तू है मेरी चाह , जीवन कि राह

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rough translation

Where are You, My Jesus?
my eyes seek YOU
My heart is restless
my spirit is almost broken
comfort me

'My soul, Jesus is here
HE loves me and
He gave HIS life
no other love greater than HIS'
My Jesus

You are my desire, You are my love, the way of life
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Love ya,
SM_eagle

My weakness...HIS strength

9th April 2007
00:45a.m

MY WEAKNESS-HIS STRENGTH (2007)
life doesn't seem to change
with resolutions i make
i fail & i fall
with just my human strength

i make fresh decision
to follow the Lord
on my own strength
i still drift & fall
Less do i know
it's HIS grace that i need
i need to depend
on HIM totally
on my own i am nothing
with YOU i can do all things

all i pray today
take me deeper than before
where i'll know
from YOU comes my strength
which carries me through
i need only YOU.
with power from above
i will fly high in the sky
for GOD will be the wind
beneath my feeble wings
you lift me up
from the depths of the pit
and lead me to The CROSS
that's the place i find My Lord
victorious over death
over all human weakness
death is destroyed
victory is complete

you give me faith
to hold on till the end
in my weakness
your strength is made perfect
so no longer
i am troubled
by my weaknesses
instead I believe
His grace is all I need
for HIS power is greatest
when i am weak
when i bear it all
for eternity
for HIS sake
I am now confident that
when i am weak
then i am strong
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

I heard HIM say...

This is a Diary entry during my stay in Bangalore for a Discernment Retreat in 2005. It was one of the best retreat I have ever been. It was an Ignatian discernement, directed retreat by a Jesuit priest, Fr. Hilario. It gave me so many insights, deepened my understanding of HIS love, left me amazed at the rich heritage that I have inherited as a Catholic, wisdom of religious, writings and contemplation of Saints in My Church.

It was the third day of my retreat, I was sitting by the beautiful Grotto, which was surrounded by huge trees and lovely landscaping of rocks and rich green grass was done. I was meditating on the love that JESUS has for me, and as I was looking at the sky, nature and was listening to the birds chirping...I had this small thought in my heart, 'You love me Jesus, can You tell me again that You love me?'. I wanted to hear HIM, actually audible voice...{i know its crazy but what to do crazy were our saints too :-) } I sensed the trees, birds and the entire nature joining with the CREATOR to tell this small creature, me, that HE loves me and i just wrote the follwoing lines in my diary. It has some crazy lines with no rhyming at all. Here it goes...

11th February 2005
4:55 p.m.

I HEARD HIM SAY (2005)
I'm in love, in love once again
if someone asks me,
how does it feel to be in love?
oh! then all i know is
to smile, smile when i am all alone
it's...all i know is
to think about HIM all day long
it's...all i know is
to look foolish when i smile all by myself
what more can i say...i don't know much

I wanna be intoxicated in HIS love
'coz I've heard HIM say, my lover said it to me
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE."

Oh! YOU said it again & again
as the wind started to blow
trees and birds echoed it all
echoed YOUR love in my soul.
When I felt the breeze on my face
when i looked up at the sky so high
and trees just swinging along
after a brief moment of stillness.

Oh ! when I heard the birds chirping
I heard YOU say to me,
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE."

i know, HE , my lover
who else...
is watching my every move
every word i say
every thought of mine is heard
that's when I know i am loved
when i smile
when i cry
when i am Still
and when am all sooooo loud
i am given all the attention
and i am the focus
thats when i know i am HIS beloved

how many times HE says it to me
all the time, my friends... all the time
there are times, may be few,
may be many
when i don't hear HIM
I just close my eyes
and see the proof
of HIS love for me
i see HIM with HIS hands stretched out
there on the tree
thats when my heart hears it
all over again
"I love YOU, my SWEETHEART,
I honour you and YOU ARE MINE.
do u love me too?"
and in those quiet moments of devotion
i confess back to HIM,
"I DO, I DO with all my heart...
YES I DO."

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Love ya,
SM_eagle

Great GOD I have!

Ah! its my birthday today so I just decided I will scribble something so this one hails from today's readings Isaiah49:1-6 and the Responsorial Psalm 71.

3rd april 2007
10:oo a.m

GREAT GOD (2007)
With a new day before me
I look upto THEE
wanna sing glory and praise to YOU
for all YOU did
and for all YOU will do

Great God I have
Great GOD I serve
No one else like YOU
You are awesome and powerful
You are faithful and wonderful
Great GOD I Have
Great GOD I serve

Lord I lift my voice
to tell of Your wondrous deeds
from the days of my youth
YOU taught me Your Word
I will sing and let the world know
I will boast of Your goodness
will proclaim of Your greatness

Before I was born, Lord YOU called me
from my mother's womb
YOU gave me my name
YOU concealed me in the shadow
of Your arms
YOU made me a light to the nations
for Your salvation to reach,
to the ends of the earth.

Now I look back and see
how faithful you have been
YOU have kept Your promises
thats why I sing

Great God I have
Great GOD I serve
No one else like YOU
YOU are awesome and powerful
YOU are faithful and wonderful
Great GOD I Have
Great GOD I serve
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Need to be filled by YOU

I wrote this on a Friday, as I decided to fast (after really a long time) my heart kept reminding me that as I fast i also need to fill the hunger that'll arise due to this fasting, hunger I mean physical..uff it can get maddening, somehow on the day you decide to fast you feel like eating all those things which you like also to an extent that you wouldn't mind eating what you dislike. surprising isn't it!

And as the day continued it seemed that my hunger was growing...and gently my soul was whispering, 'Lord may your body and blood feed my hunger, that I may run to YOU alone whenever i yearn for food, be it physical, spiritual or emotional food. That my HUNGER may be satisfied in YOU alone.'

NEED TO BE FILLED BY YOU
As I humble myself before YOU
I need thy grace and presence
I hunger for you, Jesus Lord
feed my soul, O Living God
quench my thirst, O River of God
My only need is
to be loved by YOU

Whom have I in heaven?
but YOU,
with all my heart and mind
I seek Thee,
let me find YOU
just speak to my soul
it''ll comfort me still

Nothing in this world fills my longing
'May my hunger never satisfy
till I come back to YOU.'

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Love Ya,

SM_eagle

Life without YOU

Hey! this is not a sad peom but through this all I wanna say is, How incomplete I am without the presence of the Living GOD, HIS words, HIS relationship. :-) And I am waiting for eternity when I will be sitting on my Father's lap.

22 March 2007
12:15p.m.

LIFE WITHOUT YOU (2007)
life seems so upside down,
when you have no one by your side
why my heart expects love from people
despite knowing
i will end up with a broken heart
don't know theres so much of sadness
loneliness, that my spirit breaks
wish i had known the reasons
atleast one, if not all

what can i say
I just feel too numb
things look so unclear
hazy that i am disillusioned
whats my prupose in life
when i have nobody by my side
thats what the world teaches
you need someone always.

God you made me
you know me well
things within me
seem so unstill
gosh! this restlessness
makes me feel empty
this disturbed spirit
reminds me of David
'soul searching for GOD
like a deer panting for water'
remins me of St. augustine
if i am right....
'my heart will be restless till it rests in JESUS'

words fail to describe my longing
fail to decribe my need
wish i was more expressive
wish i was articulate enough to tell it all
how much we need JESUS!!!!
My Father How much
but Abba, You understood
Jesus you too
for your birth, death and resurrection
proves it all
Your love for our souls
how you too are longing to
embrace, fill us in your arms
once again
for eternity

Jesus take me in
when I stand at the gate
Father, embrace me
when I enter the gate
I want to sit by your side
feel your robe around me
knowing that
you are there by my side
for eternity
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Lenten Retreat 2007

I was writing an invite for a Lenten programme and the first four lines that came to my mind kept it as opening lines for the Invitation. And now I am putting it for all the readers, if You are from NEW DELHI, do join in with your near and dear ones.

Dear reader,

"When You are hopeless, HE is Your HOPE
When You are weary, HE brings YOU rest
When You are restless, HE is Your PEACE
When you are sad, HE is YOUR JOY."

Even though life doesn't seem to bring pleasant things, HE TURNS IT AROUND for GOOD for those who LOVE GOD and are CALLED according to HIS PURPOSE.(Romans 8:28).So during this Lenten Season, I invite you and Your family to a Lenten Retreat, led by Aneel Aranha from Dubai. He is a lay person involved in the proclamation of the Word. The details are given below and also in the attached PDF file.

DATES: 30th, 31st March and 1st April 2007
DAYS: Friday, Saturday, Sunday
TIMINGS: 5:30p.m to 9:00p.m.
VENUE: Diocesan Community Centre,
Sacred Heart Cathedral, Gole Dak Khana,
1 Ashoka Place, New Delhi- 110 001

JOINTLY ORGANISED by: Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish & DELHI CATHOLIC CHARISMATIC RENEWAL SERVICES,

Entry Free. Do encourage your friends, relatives and colleagues to come and encounter a Living GOD and fall in love with HIM.

For any querry,contact
011- 23366092- DCRS Office
9213328238 - Greta

Looking forward to see you on all the days of the retreat.

P.S: To read articles by Bro. Aneel Arnaha , kindly visit http://www.holyspiritinteractive.net/columns/aneelaranha/

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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Still my Soul, LORD

STILL MY SOUL, LORD (2007)
It's in the darkest night that I find my shelter
in my pain i know the master's touch.
from the depths my soul cries
You are my light and my salvation

when everything in life fades,
in haste my souls searches
i find myself gazing at my shadow
not realising there's shimmering light
which falls on my back

I turn around only to find You My Morning Star
How you brighten up my life with Your presence
Where I would have been, without You
Can't imagine, can't think
All I know is
that I am destined to be with you for eternity.
All i have to do is
Walk in Your light
faithfully, patiently, Everyday.

I falter all the time
How patient You are with me
Teach me to be patient with me.

Things within me are restless
Still my soul Lord.
Still my Soul Lord
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Love ya,
SM_eagle

I will gladly lay down

Before hitting my bed, some words were ringing in my ears such as pride, appreciations, praise, acclaims that I receive. With these my soul whispered, what it is when compared to the glory of the Lord...NOTHING.

St. Paul's words echoed again and again from Philippians 3: 7-11 "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."

5th March 2007
11:30 p.m.

I WILL GLADLY LAY DOWN (2007)
To stay with YOU for eternity
is what I foresee
when I'll see you face to face
will submit my everything for YOU

I will gladly lay down everything
all that I own
I take pride in
it's nothing when compared to what I'll receive in exchange

YOU are my prize
YOU are the crown of life
YOU are the one
for whom I leave everything behind

To be found in YOU
is what I need,
There's no other place
that I want to be.
In Your arms
near your heart is my home
on your lap
in your embrace
my soul finds completion.

Jesus, sweet darling of mine
for sure will be waiting
at the gates
with arms open wide.
He's in love with me,
that's all I want.
I'll just do one thing
run fast to be in HIS embrace
That's my destiny,
living my life surrounded by HIS arms
for eternity.

I have written YOUR name
on my heart and soul, Lord
for I belong to Thee, my lover
and no one else at all.

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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

हे प्रभु

Today I thought why not post one of my hindi song :-) This song came to my heart during intercession before the Holy Eucharist for a hindi retreat, Prerna, it was for the first time that Charismatic Renewal in Delhi organised programe for hindi speaking children. Even today its so crystal clear, I was with guitar leading time of intercession and after we had spent close to one hour lifting intentions to the one who hears our cries, I was plucking my fav chords family (heheh G, Em, C, D-yes in that order) words for the melody came in so smooth that I just kept humming the melodia again and again. I am typing it in roman english... will translate it and put it for those who don't follow hindi at all....here it goes...

May 2003

हे प्रभु (2003)
हे प्रभु, हम पर दया कर
हे प्रभु, हम को क्षमा कर
हम हैं अज्ञानी, और हम हैं पापी
अपनी करुणा से, हम को भर दे

येसू, तू मेरे दिल कि
एक ही चाह है, एक ही चाह है
तेरे लिए मेरा मन, प्यासा तड़पता है
जैसे एक हिरण, पानी के लिए
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This one is just a rough translation. :-)

O Lord, have mercy on us
O Lord, forgive us
we are sinful and lack knowledge
fill us with ur mercy

Jesus, You are my heart's desire
my heart's one desire
For you, my soul thirsts
like a deer pants for the water
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

My Need

Things in life, most of the times, seem impossible. Unexpected incidents, which is normal in my life :-) remind me of God's creation-Tortoise...I can place myself so well with it. Like the wonderful creature, I too withdraw myself when I am restless within my soul. Just scribbled some thoughts sitting in the office... many things may not even make any sense but "To You, O Lord, I lift my Soul."

23rd February 2007
10:30 a.m

MY NEED (2007)
I am so unsettled within me, Dear GOD
lift me up, O Lord, lift me up.
too low I am today,
lift me up Lord Lift me up.

How can I put my trust in mortals,
when I know its you who are worthy of all my faith.
lift me up, for I put my trust in YOU.

Can't run this race without you,
Can't hide my face in the clouds
Can't miss Your grace that fills me everyday....
from morning till night

How I wish to be perfect but
I know that I need Thy mercy and benignity
I am restless, I need Your peace
I am impatient, I need Your Patience
I am hopeless, I need Your Hope
I am sinful, I need Your righteousness
I am judgemental, I need Your love (my list is endless Lord!!!)

So many things within me
doesn't confirm to Your word
That's where I am so sure
I need more of YOU
NEED You alone...

Say a Prayer: O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like YOURS. AMEN.

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Love Ya,
SM_eagle

Heart Transplant

I don't have any new words to write today... but this song describes my present state. On Ash Wednesday, all I want to say is...I NEED a HEART TRANSPLANT yeah! thats what I want, not even a heart transformation but a TOTAL change of my heart. I desire to see this verse coming true this lent.

Ezekiel 36: 25-28 "I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God."

YOU ARE EVERYTHING

My soul is yearning for Your living stream
My heart is aching for You
All that I long for is found in Your heart
You are everything I need

You are the thirst
You are the stream
You are the hunger living deep inside of me
You are the food that satisfies
You are provision for the journey of our lives
You are everything You are

Brian Doerksen , Steve Mitchinson
©2004 Integrity's Hosanna! Music

Say A Prayer :Jesus, thank you for letting me cling to you. I pray that I may always trust you and that you will always be at my side. Amen.

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Love Ya,

SM_eagle

Come and fill

With a sense of hunger and brokenness I wrote these. I've been missing those quite moments that I used to spend before the Holy Eucharist... commuting up and down from college to Cathedral and back to college between the classes. Those were some rejuvinating instants. How I miss it...

14th February, 2007
11:30pm

Come fill me up
For I need YOU
Come and fill me up
For I am broken inside
Come and fill me up
For I am fragile
Strengthen my inner most being

I need Hope
I need Faith
I need Joy
All I need is YOU

What will I do without YOU?
Where would I go?
Don't know Who am I
For my existence comes from YOU
its only YOUR Spirit, who gives me life

Come and fill me with Your love Lord
Love that never fades
Love thats endless
Love that heals
Love that moulds
Bring me back to the Cross
The sign of Your eternal Love

Say A Prayer: Lord, help me to learn how to be present to you in all the situations of my life. Thank you for being present to me always. Amen

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Love ya,

SM_eagle

You are...

I had been there for the HOLY HOUR and few things were troubling my mind so I left immediately after Divine Praises to note down the scribbled lines during this time in my diary.

15 February 2005
Bangalore
8:40 p.m.

YOU ARE... (2005)
When I sit with YOU,
all I wanna do is
put my head on YOUR bosom
and be there
listening to Your heartbeat of YOU, my Lover.

Even if I want to get up and go
YOUR love pulls me back to YOU
and all I want to do is
gaze at YOUR holy face.

When darkness surrounds me, YOU are my light
when love fails me, YOU are my lover
YOU love me unconditionally.
Even when I don't feel YOUR love
I know...my heart knows that YOU are there...
just next to me, holding my hand.

My heartbeat slows down, when YOU are there
I don't feel the running time
everything in life seems to become still

When I have lost my love, YOU are my love
When I have no one, YOU are my true friend
YOU are my Best Friend
YOU are my Sweetheart
YOU are my lover
YOU are my all

YOU love me like a mad lover
who covers up my faults
who sees the beauty created in me
who loves those small steps
I take towards YOU.
YOU love the way I LOVE YOU, don't YOU?
YOU love the way I look at YOU
YOU love me for who I AM
Even before I was born
YOU loved me all
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Love Ya,
SM_eagle